Good Luck With That: Recovery Cynicism (Dear Cookie Monster)

Good Luck With That: Recovery Cynicism

Dear Ana,

I see all this stuff you’re doing here and it’s really cute how sappy you guys are all being, but don’t get your hopes up. Seriously. This is not going to work and you are only getting setting yourself up.

How many treatment centers have you been to? Hospitals? How many doctors have you seen? Therapists? How many meetings have you gone to? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

We’ve been over this a million times.

We’ve done this. It doesn’t work. Nothing works. Ever. It’s just pathetic that you keep trying. Seriously, just give up.

Yes, you’ve gone two days now. Good job, here’s a nice pat on the back. But what are two days compared to fourteen years? Sure, there were a few nice breaks here and there where you thought things could be different, when there was some success that looked like it might actually become something. There were some really really nice times.

But how did that all end up?

Yeah, exactly. Look at where you are now.

You can try and maybe you’ll succeed, but it won’t last long. All this sappy stuff, it won’t last. It’s easy to love all the little monsters when they’re cooperating, but what happens when they stop? What happens when they blow you off and go do whatever? When they stop talking? What then?

You won’t know what to do, that’s what.

And things will fall apart like they always do.

I don’t want to break your heart and let you down. But seriously, don’t try. It will hurt less if you give up now. Or at least seriously lower your expectations that anything will ever come of this. Like, ever. Believe me, I’ve tried. We all have.

Soon, you’ll just be one of us.

A Cookie Monster that is getting letters from our future self trying to cozy up to you and provide both comfort and sage words of wisdom. You’re no different than us, so get off your high horse and quit thinking you’re so much superior to us just because you already know the ending to what we’re going through.

Like you said, you could be doing things differently. Why aren’t you?

Because you’re scared? Poor thing. What sort of an example does that set for the rest of us? You say I should have faced my fears, but then you don’t have to face yours because it’s scary and hard? Why should I believe that you’re there for me and care about me when you’re not there for or care about yourself?

If you want me to put up with all this inspirational poster nonsense that you’re dumping on all of us, I expect you to at least attempt to practice some of it. It’s not fair that you expect so much from the rest of us and nothing of yourself.

So, yeah. Want to write letters and tell us what to do? We’ll write you back.

How do you like a taste of your own medicine?

Seriously. How stupid do you think we are?

x

Cookie Monster, age twentyish

P.S.

Dear Reader,

What advice would you give to someone else but wouldn’t follow yourself? Why?

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3 thoughts on “Good Luck With That: Recovery Cynicism

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